A dear friend of mine AnaLaura Diaz showed me this song this week and to be honest it made me rethink and reflectionize on what I call “love” and “want”. Made me see that my past ghosts really did love me and that infact, sadly I was the one who often confused “love” with want. But now I proved to myself again that I did in fact love even though its too late and time cannot permit me to ever tell the people in my past “I love you” more often. To wish is a waste and to want to tell the dead I really did love them is too, but I would feel so much better if my past would recognize that love once existed but it exists no more….That love for certain people such as family and friends still exists as it did in the past but now with more fervor.
I proved to myself again that I know what love is, I know how to love and how to be loved. I once was loved and in-love. I dont regret wanting I regret not loving. Even though I scorn my past I must thank all the people in it for it was through them I knew how to love and to recognize love and want. This song once again proved to myself that I know how to love and I did love and still love all of you with all my dying heart and I am very sorry if I ever pushed you aside (family and past lovers). I love you all even though I don’t say it so often or didnt say it, I am sorry that in the past my selfishness and blindness forbid me to recognize your love.

Amar Y Querer-Jose Jose

Casi todos sabemos querer
pero pocos sabemos amar
Y es que amar y querer no es igual
Amar es sufrir querer es gozar

El que ama pretende senvir
el q ama su vida la da
El que quiere pretende vivir
y nunca sufrir y nunca sufrir
El que ama no puede pensar
Todo lo da todo lo da
El que quiere pretende olvidar
y nunca llorar y nunca llorar
El querer pronto puede acabar
El amor no conoce el final

Es q todos sabemos querer
pero pocos sabemos amar
El amar es el cielo y la luz
El amar es total plenitud
Es el mar q no tiene final
Es la gloria y la paz
Es la gloria y la paz
El querer es la carne y la flor
es buscar el oscuro rincón
Es morder, arañar y besar
Es deseo fugaz es deseo fugaz
El que ama no puede pensar
Todo lo da todo lo da
El que quiere pretende olvidar
y nunca llorar y nunca llorar
El querer pronto puede acabar
El amor no conoce el final

Es que todos sabemos querer
pero pocos sabemos amar.

My apologies also go to: Megan, momma, Bret, Andrew (my brother), Jake,Brett,Aaron,Maury. I loved you all so much and I am forever sorry for making your heart dead at times. I loved tou all so much even though I dont anymore I just had to get it off my heart. I still love some of you and I will always do so. Thank you for loving me when you did. Thank you for being there even though it was transatory, all of you fulfilled an emptiness inside and saved me when I most needed it; some of you even made me mature…. You all know what you did for me and thank you. I loved you all so much.